Nicki Minaj: Selling a bit over 370,000 copies of her first album is good for a female rap artist, but wait did she or did she not pretty much beef up and say that her mixtape sold well over a million copies? So if that's the case, why is your album looking dead compared to Kanye West's new album?
Your people may want to stop trying to beef you up and actually get you back in the studio with you ghost writers. Yeah you heard me. Paying critics to give an F album between 3-5 stars to sell a sellouts album. Plus can we get some people to write their own songs/lyrics please? Thankyou.
Katy Perry: Sitcho ass down. This singer has some great tunes but she is as about as relevant as my right foot. Keeping herself in the public eye for her 'fashion' and marrying a caveman on top of that. She tries to hard to be a A list star but her light is kind of dim if you know what I mean.
Ke$ha: Showers are to be taken everyday. Little advice. Now I like Ke$ha but if she could put the crackpipe down she may just stop to see that her albums Animal and Cannibal are pulling her out of Slowpokes Trailer Park and into mansions. Not to mention scoring a sweet ride on Rihanna's coat tails during her tour.
Rihanna: Thankyou for trading out that Wendy's girl hair for a much more subtle burgundy but is the grabbing of Nicki's 20,000 injected CC's of ass necessary? That's all cute and what-not but c'mon son if you're gonna be lezzy about it just do it. Then maybe Nicki can stop procrastinating about being bi like she implied in her songs... you too Rihanna (remember a little song and video called Te Amo?) yeah.
Mariah Carey and Beyonce: It's about time you two sat down. These two divas were close to hitting the spinster route when it was rumored that they were both pregnant. Beyonce of course confirmed hers, while Mariah sat back in the balcony waiting to announce it (not that we hadn't seen pics of you and the hubby walking out of a fertility clinic... yeah.) So with the news of Beyonce hit Mariah decided to blurt it out (after all that bullsh*t about being private and announcing it when they were ready. Ugh. Now Mariah is expecting twins and Beyonce is... somewhere doing something (FYI this isn't Beyonce's first baby mmhm). I wish them luck because the diva-tudes need to kick bricks once the baby's come popping out. Another question, are stars even having sex?!
Amber Rose: Now 2010 must have been the year of the jump offs and Amber must be the Queen of them. Being Kanye West's sex toy has paid off with a modeling contract (now null and void) from Ford Models, a sunglasses franchise and a reality show on VH1 Behind her Shades, which I'm sure will be cute but I'm not really interested in a hoe turned business woman that's just not a good message to young girls.
Keri Hilson: The little girl from Decatur, GA (where no one gives a damn about her lol) is trying her hardest to claw at fame but this good girl turned Ho-esha is slipping down the pole of relevancy. Her new album No Boys Allowed debuts tomorrow. Girl you better hope it sells lol.
Finally Ciara: Girl if there was a competition for doing that matrix shizz you would take home the Gold because your album sure isn't. BURN! Cici was a breath of fresh air in the hip hop era of snap music with her smooth voice and dance moves many compared her to Aaliyah... big mistake. But Ciara's album sales declined as her whole persona went from zero to hoe in 15 seconds. Her LP Basic Instinct sold 37,000 copies so it shows that the population of a small town likes Ciara more than the rest of us.
Shade fully thrown.
So with 2010 promptly ending what are your hopes for these stars. I see some success in this cluster f*ckery but tell me your thoughts.
No comments:
Post a Comment